Was I the only one:
by bella roza913
Summary: As I watched him walk out of the door, I felt that last piece of my heart break into a million pieces. Everything I had worked so hard for just walked out the door and took my heart and soul with him. Rose and Adrian. really crappie summary sorry :/
1. chapter 1

**Was I the only one: **

As I watched him walk out of the door, I felt that last piece of my heart break into a million pieces. Everything I had worked so hard for just walked out the door and took my heart and soul with him; I couldn't move I just stood there glued to the floor looking at the door. Finally I walked away from the front door and into our, my bed room. I sat down in the big oversized red chair that he had gotten me our first year here; I thought about everything I had giving up to be with him to make him happy, I gave up my position guarding Lissa because he didn't want to lose me because of someone. I gave up one of the most important people in my life Dimitri, After the attack and he had survived I just left him , my mentor , my lover, one of my best friends, and the strongest person I had ever met next to my mother. He said that if I wanted to be with him and have our family, that if I loved him as much as I said I did then I didn't need Dimitri anymore. So I did it because I did love him as much as I always said I did, so I said goodbye to Dimitri, and I as I walked away from him I left behind a piece of my heart with that god like Russian. I never looked back at the choices I had made up in till today that is, I never had a reason to I loved my life and my family I loved my husband and I would have done anything for him but I guess I just wasn't good enough for him in the end. I sat thinking about some many things that had happened over the years, all the great memories we had made together, all of the things we had done together. I thought about how he promised me forever and how I was the only one he would and could ever love, I thought that maybe I was the only one who ever really fell in love in the first place. I couldn't take the silence anymore so I reached over and turned on my IPod and put on a song that said everything that I was thinking,

Jordin Sparks: Was I the Only One:

When you told me that I was a star in the sky,  
Baby I believed every word.  
And you seemed so sincere,  
It was perfectly clear,  
Cause forever was all that I heard.  
And every little kiss,  
From your tender lips,  
Couldn't of been a lie.  
I fell hard over head,  
Without a safety net,  
And I don't understand this goodbye.

Was I the only one who fell in love?  
There never really was the two of us.  
And maybe my all just wasn't good enough.  
Was I the only one, only one, in love?

As I walk down the hall,  
See the place on the wall,  
Where the picture of us used to be.  
I fight back those tears, cause I still feel you here.  
How could you walk out so easily?  
And I don't understand, how I can feel this pain, and still be alive.  
And all these broken dreams,  
And all these memories,  
Are killing me inside.

Was I the only one who fell in love?  
There never really was the two of us.  
And maybe my all just wasn't good enough.  
Was I the only one, only one, ya Tell me, what I'm supposed to do with all this love?  
Baby, it was supposed to be the two of us.  
Help me, cause I still don't want to believe.

I was the only one.  
I was the only one.  
I the only one who fell in love.  
There never really was the two of us, hey.  
And maybe my all just wasn't good enough.  
I the only one, the only one.  
I the only one who fell in love.  
There never really was the two of us.  
And maybe my all just wasn't good enough.  
Was I the only one, the only one, in love?

When you told me that I was a star in the sky,  
Baby I believed every word

By the end of the song I was in tears, I felt so broken and he was gone just left me here when he was supposed to love me. He left me for no reason other then he didn't want me anymore, just like I always thought I was never good enough for him. Every one always told me to be careful that he was just like the rest of the Moroi that he would get bored one day and leave me but I never wanted to believe that about Adrian; he always told me how he would never leave me and that he would always me love guess it was all a lie. I got tired of just sitting around doing nothing so I got and walked over to my dresser and found some different clothes to put on, when I was done changing I sat down on the bed and thought about what I should do next . I could have gone next door to Lissa's but I know they all heard the fight we were yelling pretty loud, and Dimitri was over there but right now I kind of wish he was here to help me figure out what I'm going to do now. He was always really good at helping me get threw my problems, I think this time he might just punch Adrian because I know they all heard what he has said to me and none of it was nice. I still don't know why we were fighting in the first place but I guess there is nothing I can do now. I finally thought about going for a run that always helps me clear my head, so I went and got my shoes on and took my IPod and headed for the front door. Just as I opened the door and took a step out I ran right into somebody, I looked up and into the beautiful brown eyes of Dimitri. He had a worried look on his face; I just shook my head and said, "Hey Comrade why are you standing by my front door?" "Hi Roza, I wasn't standing by your front door I was about to knock but you came out instead. Rose is everything ok? I heard the fight I wanted to come over sooner but I thought that you might need sometime." I just looked at him and saw all of the love that he still had for me, I saw the concern that he had about what had happened and it made me think of everything that we had been threw together. His big brown eyes melted holes into my soul and made my heart fly even after all of these years he still had this effect on me and I loved it, I still loved him. "Thank you for coming to check on my Dimitri and yea everything is ok now; I was going to go for a run just to clear my head you wanna come with me?" He thought about it and as he was thinking I said, "Unless you are scared that I will beat you. Because you know it has been like what two years since we last ran together you never know your old age could make you slower." He looked down at me and laughed at me and said, "Roza if you call me old again I'll have to show you that I can still kick your ass, just remember I taught you everything you know." I just smiled and said, "Well that is true you did teach me _a lot,_ so you wanna come with or not? It could be a lot of fun." He just nodded I knew he heard the double meaning of my last statement, I smiled and said, "Ok then lets go." We both took off with a slow pace and then stated to pick it up after a while. We ran off into the sun set and the whole time we ran I didn't think about Adrian once.

Hey guys so this is my new one shot, I got the idea last night at like 4 am I couldn't sleep so I started to type it up. And well here it is I hope you like it and if not we I just don't care. I was thinking that I might turn it into another story so let me know if you would like me to continue with it and I will. Thankx so much for reading and don't forget to review!!

XOXO ROZA


	2. Chapter 2

**Was I the only one: **

**CHAPTER 2:**

You guys said that make this a whole story and here it is, chapter two just for you so review and let me know what you guys think.

When we finally got back home from running Dimitri walked me to the and I thought I really don't want to be alone, if I ask Dimitri he would stay with me. "Hey Dimitri you wanna come

inside and have some hot coco with me?" "Yea that would be nice Roza, but I'm making it though." I just laughed and opened the door, he followed me in and went right to the kitchen

and got started on our hot chocolates. "Hey Dimitri while you are doing that I'm going to go take a quick shower." I yelled while I was walking up the stairs to my room. "Ok but hurry up or

you're hot Chocolate will get cold and I'll have to make another one for you." I ran down the hall and was out of my clothes and in the shower in record time. I stepped into the hot water

of the shower and it felt amazing, I started to think about all of the things that were going wrong in my life. How did I let things get so out of hand, when along the way did I lose myself

and become this person I don't know? So many things running threw my mind that I hadn't realized that I was on the floor of my shower crying. I the only thing I kept thinking was, was I

the only one in this relationship that fell in love? Adrian told me some many times that he loved me but was it all a lie?

_The Fight:_

_ Sitting the living room watching TV I hear my phone ringing in the other room, "Hey baby, what's up?" "Hey little Dhampir I just wanted to call and tell you that I'm staying late at work tonight, _

_you don't have to wait up because I wont be home till really late I have a lot of work to do still." Oh great staying late again that the fourth time this week, " Adrian this is the fourth time this week _

_that you have to stay late, can't you just bring your work home and work here? I miss you I almost never get to see you anymore your so busy." As I'm waiting for him to say yes or no I hear a _

_voice of a woman in the background then I hear him say be quit I'm on the phone, no hold on I'll be right off and then we can go. "Rose why would I bring my work home just to bring it back in the _

_morning, Just go to sleep little Dhampir I'll see you in the morning. I love you." Oh yea I'm sure you can't bring you're work home because I would kill it. "Yea ok whatever Adrian I'll see you later I _

_guess." And I hung up the phone and went up to bed once again alone…… I woke up in the middle of the night and looked over to the empty side of the bed and saw that Adrian still hadn't come _

_home, so I looked at the clock and it said 3 a.m. I picked up my phone and called him three times and I got no answer every time, so I went to sit on the couch and wait for him. I fell back to sleep _

_only to be woken up and hour later when I heard the car pull into the drive way, Adrian walking into the house very quietly but I was already up so it didn't matter. I walked over to him, "Do you _

_care to tell me where the hell you have been till 4 a.m.?" I walked closer to him and saw that he had lipstick on his neck and shirt so I pulled him closer by his shirt, "What the hell is this Adrian? _

_Huh can you please tell me why in the hell do you have lipstick on your damn shirt? I thought that you had to stay late, is this why you had to stay? You know what don't even answer that _

_because I already know the answer, I heard her I'm the background when you called me. All I have to tell you is that she better be a guardian or a fire user because I'm going to kick the shit out of _

_her, and if you don't get away from me right now I'm going to do the same thing to you." I yelled at him and I walked away be into my room and lay down on the bed and tried to go to sleep and _

_failed and just there crying._

I was brought back from the memory by Dimitri carrying me out of the shower, I looked up into his eyes and saw that he looked worried, " Dimitri what's going on, why are you carrying

me?" He looked down like he didn't know that I was alive or something. "Oh god Roza, are you ok? I've been trying to get you to talk to me for over a half hour. I couldn't get you to

answer me, all you were doing was sitting and crying and there was nothing I could do. So I took you out of the shower because I didn't know what else to do." I looked into his eyes and

saw all that worry and something more, I saw love. Looking into Dimitri's eyes I couldn't remember how or why I left him in the first place, with every emotion so easy to see right there in

his eyes I remembered the man I fell in love with and I wanted that love back. Dimitri carried me from the bath room to my bed and sat me down and asked, "Roza what the hell happened

in there? It was like you were here but you weren't, Did Lissa pull you into her head again because that was different from every other time I have ever seen before." I thought about it

for a minute, and then I told Dimitri the story of what happened last night. He looked lost in thought for some time, kind of like he wanted to say something but just didn't know how to say

it. "Dimitri you don't have to say anything, I can see in your eyes that you want to say something but you really don't need to." Dimitri looked down trying to hind his face from me but it

didn't matter if he hind or not I just knew Dimitri that well, " Roza I think I should tell you something but please don't be mad at me I thought it would be better if I didn't tell you but I

guess I was wrong." He stopped and looked down again playing with his hand, man what does he have to tell me because this behavior is so unlike Dimitri. " Roza, about a month ago I

was walking around the court because Lissa was there and I had some free time, I was walking around and I walked pasted an office with the door slightly open I heard some sounds

coming from it that let me know what was going on in there wasn't business, as I was about to walk pasted it I heard someone saying Adrian's name so I stopped thinking it was you so I

went to just close the door but when I got to the door I clearly saw that is was in face not you." He stopped and looked over at me I don't know what my face looked like but he moved

away from me a little bit, I flicked my hand at him as to tell him to continue and he did, "When I got to the door I saw it was Adrian with some blonde Moroi bent over his desk, Adrian

looked up from her and saw me standing there he stopped everything that was going and sent the girl away. He told me to come in and shut the door so I did, when sat and talked about

what the hell I had just seen, well more like I yelled and he talked. But yes anyway he told me that if I told you he would have me reassigned far away from you and that he would make

sure that I never saw you again. He told me to mind my own business and to leave you alone." I just sat there in my bed feeling absolutely nothing, I had just had all of my suspicions

confirmed about Adrian and I couldn't feel a thing. I didn't know what to say to Dimitri I couldn't feel anything I knew that I should be mad at him because he had lied to me for Adrian, but

I just didn't have it in me anymore to feel anything; I was just so broken and lost and hurt that all of that just made me feel nothing, nothing but emptiness and darkness complete

darkness almost a sense of nothingness. I couldn't think or feel I knew I was still alive but I just couldn't do anything, the last three years of my life have been nothing but a lie one lie

after another how long has this been going on?

I sat and wondered about everything else and slowly I started to feel that hurt and that pain the betrayal of everything that he had put

me threw started to heat me from the inside out. I had been used just like everyone had told me, and it made me pissed, I felt that rage that I had gotten so many years ago from Lissa's

spirit powers and it helped to fuel my rage. Dimitri saw what was happening to me and said, "Roza, please try and stay calm I know this is a lot to deal with but don't let it take you over;

you are stronger then this and you are stronger then him, don't let him do this to you Rose don't let him make you this way." I looked over at Dimitri and felt that rage get even worst

because he had lied to me for Adrian he had betrayed me just as much as Adrian had, and for that he had to pay. " Dimitri get out, get out while you still can I wont be able to control this

much longer and if you are anywhere near me I will hurt you. So just go and stay the hell away from me." I said threw clenched teeth. I looked away from me then spoke up again, "Roza I

won't leave you like this, I know what I did was wrong but I will not leave you here like this. We both know how quickly the feels can change and won't leave you like this." I got up and

walked away from the bed where Dimitri still sat, I walked down the hall and into Adrian's home office and the minute I opened the door I lost it. I walked in and started to rip the room

apart I broke everything in it I ripped the books apart; I broke the computer all of the pictures of us I ripped up and broke all the frames. I walked threw the whole house doing that you

everything picture I could get me hands on. Why would we need pictures of us when all of it was just a lie, everything of the past three years meant nothing. I gave up my life and job to

be by his side to be the next Queen to his King when the evil bitch Queen died. By the time I had gotten threw the whole house I heard a car pull into the drive way and instantly knew it

was Adrian, I guess Dimitri heard it too because he flew down the stairs and went to my side. But I couldn't take all of the feels anymore and I broke down right in the hallway surrounded

by all of the broken glass and ripped up pictures. Adrian opened the front door and stopped right in his tracks, he looked over and saw me folded up on the floor and he ran over to me,

"Oh my god Rose what happened?" I wouldn't answer him so he looked over at Dimitri, "What the hell happened here? Shit! She is bleeding, Rose give me your hand so I can fix it." He

reached for my hand but I pulled away and felt that earlier rage come back, I looked up and into his bright green eyes and felt nothing but hate towards him. Dimitri felt the change in me

and put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to him so he could lock me in his arms, "Adrian I think that you should go, Rose needs some time to be away from you." Adrian looked

around and then said, "I'm not going anywhere and I am not leaving her like this she is a mess right now she needs me." I started to laugh an evil laugh nothing that sounded like it

should have come from me, I tried to pull out of Dimitri's arms but he wouldn't let me go I kept at it then stopped, "You think that I need you? Oh how you are so wrong my dear, I think

you should listen to Dimitri for once and just leave because if I get away from him I am going to kill you and your little whore Moroi too." He looked up at Dimitri with scared eyes, "What did

you tell her Dimitri? What did you do Belikov?" he yelled the last part and took a step closer to us out of his own rage, that's when I pulled at Dimitri's arms and this time I got threw and I

jumped on Adrian just I was about to hit him Dimitri pulled me off of him man I had forgotten how fast Dimitri was. Adrian tried to get back before I got lose and he got lucky, "Just let me

go!! LET ME GO! HE HAS TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING THA THE HAS DONE TO ME!! JUST LET ME GO DIMITRI I KNOW YOU WANT TO, STOP TRYING TO DO THE "RIGHT" THING AND LET ME

GOOOO!!!!"

I yelled and the both looked at me and knew that I had lost it and that the darkness had taken me over completely and there was almost nothing that they could do to help

me, I had to find my own way out of this. I could hear voices around me talking to me telling me that I was strong and that I could break out of this, but I didn't want to break away from

this feeling because it felt so right. I tried to get away from whatever that was holding me down but I couldn't get away from it, I looked up and saw these deep brown eyes looking down

at me with pure fear, I felt like these eyes could look into my soul I didn't know who they belonged to but they made me feel safe they made some of the pain go away. I stopped

thrashing around on the floor and looked in those beautiful deep brown eyes and heard what the person was saying, "Roza please you can do this, I know you can please Roza come

back to me. Look into my eyes Rose and come back to me, I love you Roza your so strong you can so this, don't let it take you come back you can do it I know you can you've beating this

before. Please Roza I need you please come back to me." By now I couldn't look any where other then these eyes, and they just looked down into my soul and it was like I had to use

them to find my way back to myself I heard him still speak but this time I couldn't understand but it still helped in some way, "MIlaya Moyna Roza, ya tebyA lyublyU, ne magU zhIt bes

tebyA, ti Ochen nuzhnA mne, lyublyU tebyA vsem sErtsem, vsEy dushOyu, lyubOv moyA, pridI ka mnE, mne ne zhIt Bez tvayEy lyubvI." ("Милая моя Roza Я тебя люблю Не могу жить без

тебя Ты очень н нужна мн Люблю тебя всем сердцем, всей душою Любовь моя, приди ко мне Мне не жить Без твоей любви.") (**_**My sweet Roza I love you, I can't live without **_

_**you I need you so much, I love you with all my heart, with all my soul. Come to me, my love. I can't live with your love**_. **) I listened to that voice and looked into those eyes

and I let me show me the way back to myself, when I finally came out of it I knew who I was looking at, I knew who had helped me out of the darkness. "Dimitri, Dimitri, Dimitri you, you

helped me get back. You saved me from myself you brought me back, thank you. I love you too and I can't live with you either." He looked down at me with tears in his eyes and kissed

me, " Oh Roza, god I thought you would never come out of it, wait how did you know what I saw saying?" I laughed because it took him that long to realize that I knew some of what he

was saying. "I only knew some of what you said not all of it, I knew because I've been learning Russian." He looked down at me again with something that looked like love in his eyes,

"Roza why would you learn Russian?" I rolled my eyes at him and said, "Comrade what kind of person would I be if I didn't learn Russian, I mean like really now I think it was a must do

kind of thing. At least if I ever wanted to know what you say when you are mad." I smiled up at him and he just shook his head and gave a light laugh, "Well I guess I'll just have to watch

what I say from now on then." I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and realize that Adrian was still here, Dimitri felt me stiffen and pulled me up and closer to him so he could get

a better hold on me just in case I lose it again I'm guessing. But I wasn't going to lose it anymore because I wouldn't let Adrian get the best of me anymore I looked over at him and said, "

We are over I will never be with you ever again I really hope that she was worth it for you; because you just lost the one good thing in your life." I stood up and walked over to the stairs

I looked back over my shoulder just in time to see Adrian fall to the floor and I watched him as he started to cry and say, "Oh god Rose what have I done? What have I done, I'm so sorry

I'm so sorry Rose. I really messed everything up now and I can never fix. Oh god! Oh god! What have I done, I lost my little Dhampir and it wasn't worth Rose it wasn't. I love you only

you, please forgive me Rose please I need you." I walked away and up the stair while Adrian sat in the floor and begged me to forgive him, but I don't think I could ever forgive him for

what he did to me. I got to my room and walked in a shut the door behind me locking out Adrian and the rest of the world.

**Ok so there you have it the other half of the story, I hope you liked it I have more to add to it but only if you guys want to read it so if I get 10 reviews then I will post more of this story so let me know that you want to read more about this and I will gladly write for all of you. REVIEW!!!!! **

**XOXO ROZA **


	3. Chapter 3

**Was I the only one: **

**CHAPTER 3:**

I'm not sure how long I was in my room but after awhile I heard voices coming form down stairs I went to the door and put my ear to it but I only heard bits and pieces what was being

said, it was Dimitri and Adrian talking about me I think or about what I had done. Then I remember what I had done to the whole house, and I felt the pain in my hands so I looked down

at my hands and saw they were all cut up and bleeding very badly. I thought about what I should do I could go down there and let Adrian heal me or I could go to Lissa and ask her but I

haven't really spoke to her in a while she might be mad at me, well I could always go to the hospital in the Royal court. I didn't not like any of these ideas but I had to pick one because my

hands were killing me, I took a deep breath and opened the door to heard the voices stop talking all together and then I walked down the hall way to the stairs to see that both Dimitri

and Adrian were standing at the bottom and when they saw me they both took a step forward I raised my hand to them and said, "I'm fine, don't come any closer please." They stopped

and looked at each other and then back to me, I walked down the stairs and stood between them. I pushed threw and walked into the kitchen to wash off my hands and the minute the

water hit my hands I started to yell at the water, "Shit! Damn it freaking water what the hell?? Like really did u have to do that? God damn it!" After I finished I took a towel to dry my

hands off and that was worst then the water, I threw the towel across the room and I looked over to see Adrian and Dimitri looking at me like I was crazy, " What!? Why are you looking

at me like I'm nuts? I'm not crazy this shit just hurts that's all." I yelled holding up my hands so they could see just how bad they really were. "Roza, we need to get that taken care of

please let us help you." I shook my head and said, "He is not touching me I would rather die then let him heal me, but I really don't think I could die from this so don't worry Comrade I

think I will be fine I can deal with this." Dimitri looked at me with a look that clearly said Rose I'm not letting this go so stop fighting. I knew that look all to well I knew I would lose this

fight with Dimitri he would never just leave me like this no matter how much I told him I was fine, I took a deep and nodded at Dimitri and he knew that he had won because he took a

step closer to me and took my hands in his much larger ones and looked my hands over. He looked up at me then his eyes moved to face where Adrian stood on the other side of the

room, I knew he was asking me if I wanted Adrian to heal me or not again I just nodded yes because I really didn't want to have to go to the court hospital. Dimitri turned to Adrian, "

Come over here, she said that she would let you heal her but if I were you I wouldn't touch her longer then you have to because I don't know what she might do to you if you do." Adrian

looked over to me as to ask if Dimitri was right again I just nodded not trusting my voice anymore, because there was apart of me that still loved Adrian but that part was very, very small

but it was still there. But the hate had a much bigger spot in my heart and it was much stronger, Adrian wanted a minute before walking over to me as if he was thinking just how

dangerous this could be for him I could lose it any minute and attack him again. I looked over at where he still stood and said, "Adrian, are you going to help me or not? I promise not to kill

you, well not now at least can't really say what will happen later." I had a very grin on my face, one that didn't feel like my own. I could feel the darkness coming back into me again, "

Dimitri could you go next door and see what the hell Lissa is doing over there, because I can feel the darkness coming again and I don't know why. I need her to stop whatever it is that

she is doing over there or I am going to go crazy." He looked at me and then over to Adrian, " Adrian, come on let's go see what Lissa is doing." I walked over to Adrian and stood in front

of him, "No, I asked you to go Dimitri not Adrian so please just go and hurry back. I already promised I wouldn't kill him so go." Dimitri turned and all but ran out of the door, I backed away

from Adrian keeping the eye contact I had with him.

He looked away first and I stopped backing away, "Adrian look at me." I commanded him; he looked back up at me with sad eyes I felt a small pang in my heart but I would not let him

know that I still cared about him and that it killed me to see him hurting, but he was the cause of his own pain so there was nothing I was going to do to help ease his pain not when I

had my own to deal with as well and he was the cause of both of our pain. I took a step closer to him and looked right into his eyes, he went to put his head back down but I reached out

and pulled his face back up to keep the eye contact that we had. I need this eye contact I need to know what he was thinking, and why he would do something like this to us. We had

everything we ever wanted we were in love or so I thought awe had talked about having a family together because Adrian wanted one so badly, I hadn't minded the idea of a family with

the man that I loved but then he had to go a mess everything up. I looked into his eyes with both of my hands on the sides of his face he put his hands on top of mine and when I looked

over at my hands the were healed already, I looked at Adrian, " Adrian, how could you do this me? I just don't get it I keep thinking that maybe I am dreaming and that I will wake up any

minute and none of this will be real, but I know that it's not going to work out that way. I need you to make this right Adrian I need you, but I can't be with you any more why would you

do this to us? I thought you loved me Adrian, I believed you I trusted you when you said that you loved me and that you would never hurt me. We talked about having a family together,

so what would have happened if I had your baby would you have just left me? Adrian all I wanted was you, and you just ripped out my heart I have to know why!" By the time I was done

talking I was on the floor sobbing Adrian was sitting next to me, looking like he was ready to die. He took my hand in his and looked right at me, " Rose, I can't tell you why I did what I did

because I don't even know why myself. But Rose you have to know that I love you and I never meant for this to happen if there was some way I could go back and fix this I would Rose,

because you are my love and my life I need you like I need the air I breath you are my heart and soul without you I could not live. You keep my heart beating and you help me to live every

day, you are my reason to live. I am so sorry for what I have done to us Rose, there are no words that I could say that would make what I did ok and I know this. I know that you could

never love me again and I hate myself for what I have done, I lost the one person in the world who believed in me and made me be a better person. I've messed everything up and I lost

you and none of it was worth it she could never even compare to you my Little Dhampir no body ever could. As for us having a family and you thinking that I would or even could leave you

would never and I mean never happen, Rose I love you and I want you to be the mother of my children you are the only woman I want to be with and have a family with.."Everything he

had said made me want to cry even more because I believed him, but I couldn't nor wouldn't give into him.

He pulled me a little closer and took my face in both of his hands and looked

deep into my eyes, " My beautiful Rose, I can't stand to see the look of pain in your eyes and knowing that I am the cause of such pain is killing me, I wish there was a way that I could

take away all of your pain and hold it inside of myself because you do not deserve this kind of pain but I do. And if I could take it away I would, Rose I am so sorry I need you to believe me

please say that you believe that I never meant or wanted this to happen I love you so much and I cant figure out this happened in the first place. God Rose what have I done?" He let his

hands drop from my face and put his head in my lap and started to sob into my lap, I could hear him saying, "How could I have done this? Why would I have done something so dumb, I've

hurt her so badly now she will never love me, I've lost my Little Dhampir oh god please let her for give me. I need her so badly she doesn't even now how much I love her and now she will

never believe me, god what have I done? What have I done?" He was talking to him self but I could still hear him and it was killing me to see him beating himself up so badly, Adrian is the

kind of person that would never forgive him self if I didn't so I said the one thing that I knew would help calm his hurting heart and his pain, "Adrian, please don't cry shh it's ok please

stop I can't take seeing you like this. Shh Adrian please I do believe you that you never wanted this to happen I even believe that you are truly sorry for what you have done. Please

Adrian please stop crying." I said threw tears of my mine; I looked down at him curled up in my lap and I just couldn't take it, I pulled his face out of my lap and made him look at me,

"Adrian look at me now, I believe you Adrian ok I do believe you and I do forgive and I still love you, and I think that I always will but we can't be together any more. I don't think I could

take this again Adrian, it's killing me right now to see you like this but I am also feeling my own pain as well you are not the only person who lost something from this, I lost my best friend

my lover and my heart. I lost what I cared about most in this world; I lost you because you let some other woman take you away from me. Maybe it was my fault maybe I just wasn't good

enough for you, or maybe It had nothing to do with me but that's something I'll never get to know." He had stopped crying and looked at me with his beautiful green eyes, "None of this is

your fault Rose, it is mine and I know what I did and it wasn't because you were not good enough for me because you are way more then I ever deserve, it happened because I am weak

and only think about myself. I deserve this pain that I am feeling but you do not and I am truly sorry for everything my Little Dhampir god I am so sorry I love you so much Rose." I stayed

looking into his eyes as I moved closer to him resting my hand on his lap and using the other to pull myself into his lap. I brought my lips to his and I felt his body shiver and his lips were

very still on mine but after a few seconds he kissed me back very lightly as of he was scared that I would break or something. We stayed like this for and few minutes because I couldn't

bring my self to let him, I loved Adrian so much he means the world to me but I can't just let this happen and stay with him. The thought of what he had done pulled me out of this and I

pulled away from his lips but I still stayed very close that if he would have moved we would be kissing again. I whispered against his lips, "Good-bye Adrian, I will always love you, and you

will always be in my heart and soul." I stood up with tears in my eyes and my breaking; I saw the silent tears falling from Adrian's eyes too.

I turned around and saw Dimitri standing there with a very thoughtful expression I knew he could tell that my heart was breaking and I knew he wanted nothing more then to take the

pain away as much as Adrian wanted to. And I wanted nothing more then to run and throw myself into Dimitri's arms but I didn't I need to get threw this on my own. I looked over to

where Adrian was still sitting on the floor and back to Dimitri and he nodded knowing that I wanted him to help Adrian. I walked past him and back up the stairs to my room. I pulled out a

suitcase and walked over to the closet and started to pack my things, the whole time crying my eyes out this was my home and he was my life and now I am leaving both of them behind.

**Don't forget to review!! I loves you all!!! And everybody go over to my profile and vote on my new poll!!!!! REVIEW REVIEW RRVIEW!!!! **

**XOXO ROZA **


	4. Chapter 4

**Was I the only one: **

**CHAPTER 4:**

I heard a knock at the bedroom door so I walked out of the closet and opened the door to see who was there. I was looking up into the big brown of my very own Russian god and he

was looking at me like he thought I would fall apart any minute, "Dimitri stop looking at me like that please, I won't break down I promise." And as soon as the words left my mouth I didn't

believe them and I could see by the look on his face that he didn't believe me either, he came in and closed the door behind him. He crossed the door and stood in front of me looking

down into my eyes, "Roza." It was all I let him say before I threw myself into his arms and I broke down crying, letting all of the hurt and pain that I was feeling go as I cried in Dimitri's

arms. He kissed the top of my head and just held me there on the floor, after I awhile I had no tears left to cry I looked up at Dimitri, "Where is he? Is he ok?" Again Dimitri looked at me

like I was crazy, "Always worried about everybody but your self, Roza he is fine and he is still here down stairs. He wanted to come up and check on you but I wouldn't let him, I thought it

would be better if he didn't so I came up instead." I just nodded to everything that he was saying, after a minute of just looking into Dimitri's eyes I pulled out of his arms not really

wanting to but knowing that I have to, Dimitri stood up as well but not moving with me. His eyes never left me as I moved around the room getting my things together. After I was done I

went to pick up my bags but Dimitri beat me to them, we walked out of the room and down the stairs Adrian was sitting in the living room just watching the stairs. He saw the bags that

Dimitri was carrying and got up and walked to the front door and by doing so he was blocking the door. "Rose, Little Dhampir please don't leave this is your home as much as it is mine.

Please stay I will move out of the room and you can keep it just please don't leave. That snot fair to you to have to leave our home because of me selfishness, if someone is leaving then it

should be me. If you want me to leave then just tell me and I will go, but I don't want you to leave your home." I thought about what he was saying and wasn't really sure that I wanted

to stay with all of these memories of how happy my life used to be, I looked over to where Dimitri was standing he nodded just barely but I knew that it meant it was my choice. I didn't

know what to do, Adrian was right this was my home but not my house he had paid for it there for it was his. But he had bought it for us to start our family in and seeing as how that

wasn't going to happen I just don't know if I could live here knowing what could have been if he hadn't messed it all up. They both stood there waiting for my answer, but I couldn't give

them an answer if I didn't even know myself. I thought about it for a while but when I came right down to it I just couldn't liver here, I had to get away I had to be alone. "Adrian yes the is

my home but it isn't my house it is yours you paid for it, you bought it so that we would have a place to start our family but seeing as that isn't going to happen I just can't stay here

knowing what we could have had together it would kill me every day to be here I'm sorry but I have to go. I will come back for the rest of my things once I get settled at court." He looked

even more hurt when I had said about why he had bought this house for us and I knew he hated himself for everything right now, but everything I had said was the truth so I couldn't let

it bother me. I took a step towards to door and Adrian still hadn't moved, "Adrian please don't do this I don't want to fight with you anymore please just move and let me go." He dropped

down on his hands and knees, " Rose please don't go please don't leave me here all alone, I know I could never fix the pain that I have caused you but I need you Rose you're my best

friend I need you here with me. I couldn't take it if you left me here all alone." I never thought I would see the day that Adrian Ivashkov would be on the ground begging somebody but

that day has come, and I now had no clue of what to do. I didn't want to leave him but I had to, didn't I? I felt so confused standing there with Adrian begging me to stay; I just didn't

know what to do. If I left would he do something stupid like hurt him self, or would he just start drinking again both of which would not be very good. I looked down at Adrian and felt

really bad for what I was about to do but I had to do it. I bent down and took Adrian's hands in mine, "Adrian, Adrian look at me please." He slowly lifted his head up and looked me right

in the eyes with tears running down his face, I wanted to reach out a wipe them away but I didn't, and it took everything I had not to. "Adrian I can't stay here with you, not right now any

way I need some time to be alone and think about a lot of things. I need to be on m own and get threw this, because you are not the only one who is hurting right now but I need time to

get over everything that is going on. I'm going to stay at court where the rest of the guardians stay, but don't worry I'll come back tomorrow and we can sit down and talk about

everything some more." He continued to look at me then put his head back down in his hands and just cried. I felt my heart breaking even more; even though Adrian hurt me badly I still

loved him that's the funny thing about love. Some one you love could hurt you so badly and you could still love them. But even with that love I still needed time to think about everything in

my life. I had to get my head right so I truly believe leaving so the best idea.

I lifted myself up off the floor and put my hand out to help Adrian up; he just looked at my hand for a moment then took it. Even just touching his hand sent a shock threw my body; I

pulled him into a hug and whispered, "Adrian, I still love you, I just need sometime to think. Please don't do anything stupid while I'm gone it would kill me if something happened to you." I

pulled back and kissed him on the cheek and wiped away some of the tears I let my hand linger on his face for a moment longer then I put it back by my side. "Rose, I promise I won't do

anything stupid I think I've done enough to hurt you. I love you more then words can say Rose. So take the time you need to think and I'll be here and first thing tomorrow I am firing her

so you don't have to worry. And you know what if it would make you happy you could do it. But Rose I will see you tomorrow right?" I thought about what he had said I would love to firer

that bitch but I think might hurt her if I see her, but then again who knows just something else to think about today. "Yes Adrian you will see me tomorrow and as for that bitch I think that

might be a lot of fun." He just laughed and said, "OK Little Dhampir, you can have your fun I wouldn't dare tell you no anyway, I love you Rose. Please call me when you get there and are

all settled and if you need anything just let me know and I'll have it taken care of. I will miss you tonight my Little Dhampir." I turned to walk away then stop, "Adrian, if you want you could

still come and visit me later." He got the biggest smile on his face the one that just lights up his whole face, " Thank you Rose, you don't know how much that means to me." With that I

turned and walked out of the door and to my car, Dimitri was right behind me carrying my suitcase. He walked to the back of the car and put them in then shut the trunk. He walked

around the car to the driver's side where I was standing, he lifted his hand and wiped away a tear that had fallen without my knowing it. I looked up into his eyes and had a sad smile

playing around my lips, "Roza, it's going to be ok. You are so strong that's why I love you so much, I know that you will get threw this and do what you feel is right for you. If you ever

need me Roza you know all you have to do is tell me and I will always be there." I knew Dimitri would always be there for me but I still loved to hear him say how much he cared for me; it

made me feel a little better knowing that someone did. "Dimitri would you come with me to court, I really don't wanna go alone." He smiled at me that loving smile that I rarely got to see

when we were at the Academy, "Yes Roza I'll go with you just let me tell Lissa where I will be." I shook my head and got into the car, and waited for Dimitri to come back out. When he

returned he put his bag in the trunk and then we were off to the Royal Court.

**Hey guys hope you all liked the chapter, if ya did then REVIEW!! I love to hear what everyone has to say. And stop by my profile to vote on my poll for what I will write about next.**

**XOXO ROZA**


	5. Chapter 5

**Was I the only one: **

**CHAPTER 5:**

** The drive to court was quick and quite, when we got there the guard at the gate lets us in and I went to the guardian housing. I parked the car and got out walking to the back of **

**the car I met Dimitri who was standing there very quietly watching me, "Dimitri you can stop looking at me like that, I promise to not go crazy and lose my mind till we get inside." **

**I meant it as a joke but by the look on Dimitri's face that's what he was waiting for me to do. I sighed and took my bags from the trunk and started to walk to the door of my room, **

**I got the key out of my pocket and opened the door. The room looked like every other room for the guardians, white walls, red hard wood floor a bed and dresser, night table with **

**a lamp and bath room. It wasn't anything like my house- err well Adrian's house. As I sat there thinking about Adrian all alone in that big house we once lived in together I felt a **

**tear slip down my face, I didn't try and stop it I just let it fall. Because in truth one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do was to walk out of that door and leave Adrian, **

**I'm still not to sure if I'm going to make it threw this but I know that I still have to try. The pain that I got thinking about Adrian was unbearable, I felt my knees give out and I fell **

**to the floor. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew Dimitri was standing close by me and that he was always going to be there for me. I turned around and looked into his **

**warm brown eyes and felt that pull that he had on my soul, and some how it gave me strength and I pulled myself up off the floor and walked over to where Dimitri was standing. **

**"Thank-you." Looking up into Dimitri's warm brown eyes I knew that he knew what was saying thank-you for. "Roza, I told you that I would always be here for you. You don't **

**have to say thank-you if you need my strength then it's yours." I walked closer to him and wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself up and made him hold me while I **

**wrapped my legs around his body. We looked into each others eyes and I saw some many things flash threw his eyes, all the feelings that he still had for me even after all these **

**years apart I couldn't help but smile at the fact that he was still the rock in my life. Always there to keep my feet on the ground the one who is my true soul mate. I think he **

**somehow knew what I was thinking because he pulled me closer to him and I laid my head on his shoulder and breathed in his intoxicating scent, It made my heart do a little flip **

**when I felt his breath down my neck, "Roza, you know that you are my world right, nothing and no one could ever change that." Whatever else he was going to say got cut off by **

**my lips meeting his, God his lips are so soft and warm I forgot what it was like to kiss Dimitri how it had always sent shock waves threw my body and it made me feel safe and **

**loved. As things started to heat up between us Dimitri brought us to the bedroom he pulled away from me and looked into my eyes and I wonder what he saw because he said, **

**"Roza I don't think your ready for this to happen yet." Why would he think that I wasn't ready for this, I wanted this I wanted him after all these years apart there was nothing I **

**wanted more then to be with Dimitri right now. What if he doesn't want me and that's why he is saying this. I pulled my self away from him and took a couple steps back and **

**looked down at the ground, "You, you don't want me." I said in a very small voice while trying to hold back the tears that I felt coming.**

** He took a step closer to me but I took another one back I finally looked up at him to see that he was hurting I wanted to go to him and comfort him but he didn't want me, just like **

**Adrian didn't want me. He held my gaze with his own while I spoke, "You don't want me, just like Adrian doesn't want me. Why does this always have to happen to me why can't I **

**just be happy?" I said the last part out loud but it wasn't till after I said it that I wished I hadn't. I finally felt the tears starting to fall I didn't bother to wipe them away they were **

**starting to become a part of my everyday life it seems like. I felt the rejections from both men in my life and I felt like I couldn't take it anymore I turned to Dimitri and the look on **

**his face ma things worst, "Roza, you know I want you. God I want you so bad that it hurts." I looked down his body and saw what he was talking about, "Please know that I DO **

**want you Roza more then anything in this world. But I just don't want you to do this because you feel like you have to get back at him or because you're hurting; I want you to do **

**this because you love me and you want to be with me too." I thought about what he had said and he was right yet again Dimitri and his Zen life lessons, god he really need to find **

**something better to do with his time. I laughed a bit and Dimitri did that really cool thing with his eye brow, "Rose what is so funny?" "Its nothing really just thinking that even now **

**you're still giving me Zen life lessons." He gave me a small smile and nodded, "Well Rose I always told you that you of us had to be in control, because lets face it if I lost it too the **

**world would be doomed." I laughed some more and walked back over to where Dimitri stood I wrapped my arms around him again and kissed him on the cheek, "Your right you **

**know, I do want you but now that I think about it I'm not ready. How is it that you always know what's best for me before I do?" He smiled that full amazing smile that could knock **

**any girl off her feet, "Guardian secrets." "Hey! I'm a guardian too you have to tell me!!" I half yelled while laughing "Nope sorry I can't tell you." "Fine! I didn't wanna know all **

**that bad anyways." I stomped my foot and walked away back into my bedroom. I heard Dimitri laughing at me as I walked away and it made me smile to hear him laugh. I heard **

**some movement then I felt Dimitri wrap his arms around me, "Roza, I'm going to go now so that you can unpack and rest I'll see you in the morning." I tightened my grip on his **

**arms, "No, please don't leave me tonight. Stay with me I promise that I'll be a good little girl." He just nodded his head and laughed, "Oh Roza I don't think you could ever be that **

**good, but yes I will stay with you anyways. It may cost me my self control but I will do it." "Please Comrade, I'm not that bad. Come on lets get to bed I got to get up and firer **

**someone tomorrow." I pulled him onto the bed and pinned him down, but he quickly flipped me over, "Good girl remember Rose." I pouted my lips at him and he just bent down and **

**kissed me I pulled away, "And how would you like me to be a good girl when you go and do that?" I got off of me and went over to his bag to pull out his Pj's and I did the same **

**when we were all dressed for bed I went back into the room and saw that Dimitri was already in bed waiting for me with open arms. He pulled me as close as I could get, **

**"Goodnight my beautiful Roza, I will see you in the morning." He kissed my head, "Good night Dimitri." I kissed his hand that I was holding and I started to drifted off you sleep **

**when I heard him say, "Ya tebyA lyublyU Roza." I smiled, "I love you too Dimitri."**

**K SO I KNOW THIS IS SHORT BUT I'M WORING ON THE NEXT CHPATER... REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YA THINK3**

**XOXO ROZA**


	6. Chapter 6

**Was I the only one: **

**CHAPTER 6:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy or its characters.**

I fell asleep pretty quickly in Dimitri's arms….

_DREAM WITH ADRIAN…_

And soon I was standing on the beautiful beach that Adrian and I had gotten married on. I looked around for Adrian and soon saw him sitting on a blanket a few feet away from me. I just stood there and watched Adrian and thought about everything that had happened, and I wondered if I could ever forgive him for what he has done. Could I still be with him after this, could I ever trust him again? As I watched him sit there looking so sad and lost I knew that he felt horrible for what he had done to me well us. It made me sad to see that he was in so much pain, I walked over to him and sat down not looking at him but keeping my eyes closed and my head back so that the sun could warm my face. After a while I opened my eyes to find Adrian watching me with a sad smile on his face, "I remember when we were really here, that was the best day of my life." I thought back to the day we got married …

"ROSE!!!!" Lissa yelled at me from across the room. "Rose you still not ready yet?" "No I'm not ready yet and it's not like they can have the wedding with out me, so get you're butt over here and help me." I said, Lissa walked over in her beautiful red dress I had picked out for all of the girls in the wedding, because the theme of the wedding was red and black. Liss helped me into my dress and finished my make-up, handing me a mirror I look at myself, "Oh Lissa Thank-you!" I got up and hugged her and she pulled me to the door handing me my flowers, "Rose, It's time for you to go get married. Now lets go don't want to keep him waiting any longer do you?" She said giggling and pulling me out of the door. As I walked outside with Lissa next to me we saw Dimitri standing just out side of the door watching Lissa, He was her Guardian so I thought he was just doing his job but when Lissa saw him she said, "Dimitri I thought I told you take the day off, why are you here?" He took a step closer and said, "I just wanted to talk to Rose on her big day." Lissa look between us and then said, "Fine but you have two minutes Rose then it's show time you got it?" she looked at me, "I got it Lissa thanks." I turned back to look into the beautiful brown eyes that belonged to Dimitri. "What are you doing here I thought you said you didn't want to come?" I looked me up and down and I could see the sadness in his eyes, "Roza, I had to see you today I had to see how beautiful I knew you would look. I just had to see you one last time before you left me for good." I could see the pain in his eyes as he said the last part, but it didn't matter because the fact was I left him along time ago when he left me to be with Tasha. It's not my fault that things just didn't work with them and that I had moved on. I mean he is the one who left me, but why do I feel so bad right now why does seeing him in pain still hurt me? "Dimitri, you have no right to come here and make me feel bad, it's my wedding day Dimitri I shouldn't be sad I should be happy!" I yelled I took a step closer, "You left me remember? You made your choice and I made mine I love Adrian and he loves me and we are getting married today and you can either go and sit down and be happy for me or you can leave." I was almost in tears I was fighting so hard to keep myself together, "Roza I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you, I know that I messed up. I just wanted to wish you good luck and tell you how beautiful you look today." I picked up my hand in his and kissed it. He turned to walk away but I stopped him and looked at him then I pulled him to me and hugged him. "Thank-you Dimitri it means a lot to me that you are here today." He just held me tighter, "Roza I will always be here for you when ever you need me." He kissed the top my head and walked away, little did I know that, that would be the last time that I really talked to Dimitri….

I got pulled out of my day dream with in a dream, "Rose what are you thinking about?" Adrian asked me, "I was thinking about the day we got married, and how happy I was that day." I saw the pain on his face and it broke me heart even more I got a little closer to him and still looking up at the sky I said, "Adrian, how did things get so messed up? What did I do wrong to make you hurt me like this?" I looked over at him and he just looked at me and hurt and sadness written all over his face, "Rose, I don't know how things got this way and I'm sorry I wish I did, but I can fix this please let me fix this Rose I need you in my life." He stopped and came and sat in front of me and took both of my hand in his and said," Rose, none of this is your fault at all, everything that is wrong is because of me please baby you need to know it is all my fault but I will not give up trying to make it up to you because Rose I love you. I need you in my life you are everything to me and I can't believe the things that I did." He put his head in my hands and for a minute I just sat there not moving at all but then I moved and took him into me and we held each other for a few moments till I pulled back.

I looked Adrian right in his amazing green eyes and I took his hand in mine and said, " Adrian I don't really know if I can ever get past this, I mean I have forgiving you already for what you have done but I don't know if I can ever trust you again. I love you Adrian you are my heart and soul and this pain that I am feeling is killing me Adrian the thought of you being with some other women kills me, it hurts so badly Adrian I just want this pain to go away but I don't think it will any time soon. Do you know how much I wish that I was at home with you in our bed with you holding me while we sleep? And not knowing if we will ever get that back make me feel I can't even explain how it makes me feel." I lost it then and I started to cry I was fighting so hard to just stay strong but I couldn't anymore I had to let it out or I would go crazy again. Adrian pulled me to his lap and rubbed my back and just let me cry and after awhile I noticed that he was crying with me." Rose I don't know what to say other then I am sorry for everything that I have put you threw and I understand if you hate me now, because I would hate me too I always promised I would never hate you and I did but please don't think I did this on purpose because I didn't I would never hurt you on purpose Rose I love you then anything in this world I would give everything up just to have you back home in my arms right now." I thought about what he had said, "Adrian even though you have put me threw hell right now I still don't hat you, I don't think I could ever hate you. You still my husband your still the man I married your just lost right now, and I know some how you will find your way back to me but I think we still need some time apart I still need to heal my heart Adrian because with all this pain that I am feeling it's amazing that I'm still alive." I pulled me to my feet and got down on one knee and said, " Rose, I love you more then anything in this world I know I have said that about a hundred times tonight but I mean it , and I will do anything and everything I have to, to get to back. I will make this up to you Rose I will make you see me and the man that you love the man that I was. I think that you were right when you said that I was lost and I will find my self Rose for you, for us." I smiled at him and wrapped my arms around him and said, "OK Adrian, I believe in you I know that if anyone could find them self it's going to be you." "Oh and Rose don't for get to meet me in the office at 8 tomorrow." I pulled away from him and I knew I had an evil smile on m face but I just couldn't help it "Oh don't worry about that Adrian I don't think I could for get about that, I will be there." He pulled me closer to him and said, "Little Dhampir you are waking up now, I will see you soon. I love you my Little Dhampir forever and always don't you ever forget that."

I wake up to Dimitri looking down at me with a funny look on his face so in true Rose fashion I said, "Why are you looking at me like that Dimitri?" He just smiled and said, "Well good morning to you to Roza." I shook my head and went to get out of bed but Dimitri pulled me back to the bed and on top of him, " Dimitri what are you doing?" I said while trying to hide my laughing but he didn't buy it, he just flipped us over and started to tickle me till I felt like I would die from laughing to much, " Dimitri , please stop please I can't breath anymore." He stopped and looked down at me, "There we go that's much better, I don't like you waking up all grumpy." I smiled at him, "I wasn't grumpy I just asked why you were looking at me the way you were." "Come on we have to get ready, I have some fun things I get to do today." I said getting out of the bed while Dimitri looked at me like he knew just what I was going to do today and before he could even speak I said " Comrade if you think about trying to stop me today I will have to kick your ass." He just laughed and got out of the bed and walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me, " Oh Roza, I wouldn't dare dream of stopping you today even I know better then that. But I was thinking before we go maybe we should..." He let whatever he was going to say drop and he kissed me and it felt so amazing, but all to soon we pulled apart, " Go get ready Roza, we have things to do today." With that I walked out of the room and into the bath, I sat on the floors with my head in my hands and thought to my self. What am I going to do about this, I love Adrian with everything I have, but I love Dimitri too I always have I never stopped but they both hurt me. They both caused me pain but I still loved them both to death. HA! There is a thought, I wonder if one could die from a broken heart. After that I got into the shower and got ready for my fun day ahead of me.

OK I know I took FOREVER to write this and I am sorry!! Really I am! I hope you all like it or love it, let me know what ya think please and if you have any ideas just let me know I could always use something good. ODNT FORGET THE REVIEW!! Thankx k bye

XOXO ROZA


	7. Chapter 7

**Was I the only one: **

**CHAPTER 7:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy or its characters.**

We walked from the room to Adrian's office because we were already at court and so was the office, When we got to the office door I stopped and just looked at the door and tried to get my thoughts together before I went in there. Dimitri stopped with me and just put his hand on my back and when I didn't move he said, " Rose, if you don't want to do this you do have to, nobody is making you do this." I turned around and looked at Dimitri like he was crazy, " Dimitri if you think that I don't want to do this then you are crazy. I was just trying to get myself together so I don't walk in there and kill this girl, because no matter what she did I don't think the Queen would like it if I killed a Moroi ." He looked down at me and just smiled, we sat there for another moment and then I was ready.

I walked in the door like I owned the place, well technically I did but you get the idea . Adrian was standing right in front of his office door with sad eyes but I big smile, He knew what I was going to do. I looked at Adrian and the first thing I saw was his beautiful emerald green eyes and that breath taking smile, Seeing Adrian had always made me go a little weak in the knees but I would never tell him that. He was looking at me and I knew that he was reading my aura, after a moment he started to walk towards me and I felt Dimitri stiffen a little bit. " Little Dhampir, I missed you I'm glad you could come today." Adrian said as he kissed my cheek behind him I saw a girl sitting at her desk and she looked pissed. Well I guess I found her and with that thought I turned on my best man eater smile, " I missed you too Adrian." I got myself even closer to Adrian and I could see that Adrian knew just what I was going to do because before I could say anything he picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him, He kissed me with some much passion and love that I forgot where we were; I forgot almost everything till I heard a desk draw slam shut. I smiled against Adrian's lips and looked into his eyes and saw love, it made me want to melt but I wasn't here to do that . I hoped down and took Adrian's hand and said, " Baby, why don't we finish this in our office." The look on the girl's face was priceless it was all I could do not to laugh. Adrian picked me up again and I hid my face in his neck and kissed it a little bit while I was there Adrian gave a moan and looked down at me with lust filled eyes and just shrugged my shoulders and smiled. He walked over to the girls desk and set me down right on top of it and I smiled up at him, " Well Little Dhampir I think right here is more then perfect." He bent down and kissed me again so passionately that if I was standing I might and fell to the ground. " Lord Ivashkov, You have a meeting today at noon, so maybe you should send you're friend to get lunch or something so you can work." Oh man she did not just go there this girl doesn't even know who I am, I looked over to Adrian who looked very pissed off; Oh crap this girl is about to get yelled at big time. I looked at her and laughed right in her face, " What is so funny? Lord Ivashkov is a very busy man and he doesn't have time for somebody like you right now so maybe you should leave before I get secrity." I laughted even harder then the first time, " Well sweetheart why don't you go and call secrity because you are going to need them." I said looking right at her, I then flipped my head over to put my hair into a ponytail I hear her gasp as I did this and I smiled to my self, I also heard Adrian and Dimitri give a small laugh as well.

Not even five mitues later secrity came threw the doors of the office and walked up to the girl and said, " Did you call for secrity?" " Yes I did, that woman needs to be taken out of here now." She said pointing to me, I just sat there with the worlds biggest smile on my face. The three guys turned around and saw me standing there, little did she know that they all knew me and who I was so this was going to be even funnier. They walked over to me and I jumped up and flew at one of the guys wrapping my arms and legs around him, " Eddie! Its been way to long I missed you so much." I said as I jumped off of him and he laughed and said, " I missed you too Rose, how have you been?" " I've been good, how about you? How is the family?" But before he could answer the dumb girl cut him off, " I didn't call you to come and play house and talk with the blood whore just get her out of here, We don't pay you to talk; we pay you to work and be secrity." she yelled at Eddie and the other two men. That was it, I finally lost it and all the guys in the room saw it and they backed away to the walls. I walked right up to where the girl was standing and pulled her up by her hair and said, " First of all I am not a blood whore, second I am Mrs. Rose Ivashkov. And Third you don't pay anybody but I do." I looked at her and could see that she was very scared and it only made this that much better, I looked over to where Adrian was standing and he looked very unsure; Dimitri on the other hand was looking at me like I had the I'm gunna punch someone in the face look. Which was very funny because that was what I was going to do. I pulled the girl by her hair over to where Adrian was standing and he got a nerves look on his face, I threw the girl on the ground at his feet, " This is what you cheated on me with? Her? Really Adrian this is unbelievable I can't believe you would give up everything that we had for that." I said pointing to where the girl was sitting on the floor.

I was losing it fast I felt the darkness staring to take over and I had to fight it I knew that but I didn't want to anymore, I'm so tired of trying to fight it why can't I just let it take me over I don't have anything else left to lose I thought to my self. Adrian walked around the girl on the floor and stood right in front of me and reached out and took my hands in his, " Rose please don't give in, I need you and I love you. Don't let it take you over." I looked into Adrian's eyes and saw that he cared so much for me and that he loved me but he just wasn't enough to stop the darkness from taking me. I knew I couldn't let it take me so I turned around and walked over to where Dimitri was and I looked into his warm brown eyes and I could see my soul mate, I could feel the darkness just fade away slowly as I looked at him and he smiled at me knowing that it would only help me more. And I few more minutes Dimitri bent down and whispered in my ear, " I'll always be here for you my Roza." I looked at him and smiled and turned around and walked back to the girl on the floor and she looked like she was going to past out from fear, I bent down so that I could be eye level with her when I spoke to her, " I don't care who you are or what you are, Dhampir or Moroi if I ever see you around here again it WILL be the last thing you do. You've already seen my marks, I've killed a lot of people and it wouldn't matter to me if you were next. So go get your things and get out of here before I change my mind, And if you ever try to talk to Adrian or anything I will find you and hurt you very badly so if I were you I would leave pretty fast." She got up and ran to her desk and took her stuff and ran out of the office fast then I thought she could move, I looked around the room to all of the guys in the room and they were all still pushed up against the walls. I looked at Adrian. " I need to go now before I do something very dumb, I will talk to you later after you get of work." I said and I turned to walk away when Adrian grabbed my arm, " Rose, I'm sorry you know that right? I love you , and I'll call you when I get out is that ok?" I just shook my head to tell him yes and I walked out of the office with Dimitri right behind me the whole time.

Ok so here is Chapter 7 I know I took for ever and I am soooo sorry !!! I mean it I've had a lot going on and right now I'm sitting on a bus right now going from VA to NJ and that's why I can update.! I have a 7 hr bus ride not kool Well I hope you liked the chapter please don't forget to REVIEW!!

XOXO ROZA


	8. Chapter 8

**Was I the only one: **

**CHAPTER 8:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy or its characters.**

The walk back to my room was a quick and quit one, I think Dimitri knew that I needed some time t get my self together. We got back into my room and I went right for the bathroom I really needed a hot shower with all this craziness you can always count on a nice hot shower to fix some of that. I stepped into the bathroom and turned the water on and felt the water to make sure it was hot enough for me, I stepped into the tube and just stood under the water and let the hot water wash away all of the mornings events. I don't know how long I was in the shower but soon I heard a knock at the door, " Come in." I yelled I heard the door open and then close, I stuck my head out from the shower and saw that Dimitri was standing there, " Hey Comrade everything ok ?" He laughed a little and smiled, " Roza you've been in here for an hour and I just wanted to make sure that you were still alive." He said with a small smile playing on his lips.

I pulled back the curtain to the shower and said, " Well do I look alright to you Dimitri?" He sat there for a moment just looking at me , then he walked over to me and looked right in my eyes, " Roza you look beautiful." I smiled at him and pulled him closer to me and wrapped my arms around him and kissed him, it took him a moment to get where I wanted to take this and when he did he pulled away from me and said, " Roza, not yet I don't want you to think of this as a mistake after it happens. But please know that I want you more then anything in this world and it is taken everything in me to walk away from you right now." He pulled away from me and just looked deep into my eyes and I knew that he meant everything that he was saying in this moment. We locked eyes and I felt like everything in this world would just melt away, I could live my whole life just looking into his eyes. He was right thought I still loved Adrian even after everything he had done, after all of the pain he had put me through I still loved him. I don't know if there would ever be a time where I wouldn't love Adrian but I just because I love him doesn't mean I want to be with him, sometimes love just inst enough to save something. So as I stood there looking into the most beautiful browns eyes I had ever seen I thought about weather or not I still wanted to be with Adrian, I wonder if I could ever trust him again. But Dimitri had never given me a reason to not trust him and I still did love him but did I love him as much as Adrian, if you would have asked me in high school if I could ever love any man more the Dimitri I would have said that they were crazy; but standing here looking at Dimitri I just wasn't sure who I loved more. At that moment I knew that everything I was doing wasn't fair to Dimitri, making him stay with me and then the way things always end up between us like this; it just isn't fair to put him through this because I'm not even sure that we could ever really be together in the end.

After everything that happened in the bath room I went for a walk, I needed to get away from Dimitri and get away from everything that was going on around me. I just had to walk and think about my life and where I wanted to be, I know that if I wanted to go back and be Lissa's guardian I could or I could take Adrian back and we could try and work things out; Or I could leave this all behind and just be with Dimitri. Dimitri everything kept going back to him, why was that happening. I sat down in one of the many gardens at court there was a small lake to my right and a nice big tree behind me. My phone rang and I knew who it was before I even looked at it. " Hello." I said " Hey Little Dhapmir, how was your day?" Adrian said sounding very happy, " It was ok I guess, how was yours?" I asked. " Mine was great! I watched this totally hot woman flip out and then she talked to me." he said and I laughed , " Hey! I didn't flip out, I so could have done worst and you know that." He laughed , " Yea, I know it could have went very different. Rose, I miss you so much. Could I come and see you for a little while before I go back to the house? Or you could just come home for a while, you don't have to stay if you don't want to I just need to see you rose. You don't know how hard it is knowing that I have to go our home and you won't be there." I thought about what Adrian was asking me before I said anything, " Adrian, I cant come home not yet, but I will met with you and see if we can talk about some of the things that are bothering me." " Ok, well where would you like to met?" " I'm over by our lake on the east side of court, it's close by so I should see you in a few." I said, " Ok I'll be there in five or ten minutes, bye Rose." " See you soon Bye Adrian." Now all I could do was wait for Adrian to come so we could talk about everything that had happened in the last few days.

Ok I know I've taken for ever and a day to write this but I am very busy with a lot of things right now. Ill try and get another chapter out soon. Its like really hard writing four different stories at once. But I'm working on it. THANK YOU TO ALL OF MY READERS AND TO THOSE OF YOU WHO REVIEW YOU GUYS ROCK!!!

XOXO ROZA


	9. Chapter 9

**Was I the only one: **

**CHAPTER 9:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy or its characters.**

As I sat and waited for Adrian I thought about some of the things that I wanted to talk about with him, I'm not really sure what I want to do with my life any more and I think I should tell him that. I don't know if I want to start a family and leave all this life behind; but I'm sure if I wanted to do that Adrian would love that. He has been talking about having a family for a long time now. But could I really just leave all of this behind, knowing all the things I know about our world; and if so could I have a family with Adrian after everything that has happened. I just don't know about anything any more and I know that I just need time to think about my life and everything going on around me.

I heard his foot steps as he got closer, I just closed my eyes and listened to everything around me. I could hear all of the different night bugs, the water moving back and fourth from the little water fall I was sitting next too. I could feel the wind blowing my hair lightly around my face, it was a hot summer night tonight with the sun beating down on the rest of the world but I was safely under the shade of a tree; this was a place where Adrian could go without the sun bothering him. Then I could also smell how good Adrian smelt, I could hear his little foot steps and then I finally felt him as he sat down next to me under the tree.

I opened my eyes and was meant by the most amazing pair of green eyes on the planet, Adrian smiled at me and said, " Hey there Little Dhampir, why are we sitting out here?" I looked away from him and out into the lake, " Just needed sometime alone to think about my life, I don't know what I'm going to do about everything that is going on around me." I knew he was watching as I looked out into the lake, " Is there anything I can do to help you get threw any of this?" I thought about that but I already knew the answer, " No, I just need time to think things through that's all." He nodded his head and then just put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him, I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes.

I guess I had fallen asleep because I woke up to Adrian carrying me, I looked at him as he just smiled down at me, " Hey sleepy head, glad to see that your up." I gave a small laugh and trying to get down from him, but that didn't work to well, " Its ok Rose go back to sleep we are almost at your room." I didn't want him to be carrying me so I said, " No its fine just put me down I can walk." He thought about it for a second and then he set me down on the ground. I looked around to see where we were and he was right we were almost at my room I turned to Adrian and said, " I can walk form here you don't need to walk me. I know you must be tired too and you still have to drive home." He looked down with a sad look on his face, when he looked back up at me I could see some much pain in his eyes, I took a step towards him I just couldn't help it sometimes my heart and my body and my mind don't all do what I ask them to.

His hand went to my face and pulled my closer, he kissed to top of my head and hugged me, then he took a step back, " I love you my Little Dhampir, forever and always no matter what you do with your life no matter who you chose to be with. I will always be here for you." I just stood then unable to move thinking about what I had said in my sleep. I watched him walk down the hall and leave and even after he was gone I still couldn't bring my self to move. I don't know how long I stood there waiting for him to co me back but I finally I could move again and I walked back to my room, opened the door and saw Dimitri sitting there waiting for me.

I walked into the room and look around everything was still the same, and that's when it hit me, this was my home now. If I stayed in this life without Adrian this is where I would live, and work this would be my life. I could come home every day alone or maybe Dimitri would be here. Did I want Dimitri to be here, did I want to have to hide my relationship with him. Did we have to hide it anymore, Soon Lissa would be Queen only a few more months for that; but would she make us hide would she even let us be together? So many things ran through my mind as I walked into my room, things that I just didn't want to deal with right now.

Dimitri got up and walked over to me putting his arms around me, " Roza, What's wrong? You look upset did something happen?" I looked up at him as he held me tight to him, " Yea something happened you could say I guess. I've just been doing a lot of thinking don't worry about it I'm fine." He looked like he didn't want to let this go but he did anyways and for that I was thankful. I pulled out of his embrace and took his hand and pulled him to the bed, " Come on I tired and you look like you pretty sleepy too, why don't you stay the night." He had a small smile as he walked over to the bed with me.

Ok another chapter down, sorry its taken me so long to get this up I've been so busy but I will try and post another one soon. don't for get to review!

XOXO ROZA


	10. AN

Ok I am soo sorry I haven't updated in like forever and a week, I had A LOT of personal stuff happen in my life. But just so everyone knows I will start working on all my stories tonight , I've hit a writers block with my stories so if anyone has any ideas I would love to hear what all of you are thinking . And I am just going to put it put there that i need a beta because i am going over all my work and dear god why didn't you people ever tell me to fix this stuff lol its so bad! So if any of you would like to beta for me just PM me and let me know

Also oh man i can't wait for Dec,7 ! I'm going to the opening day book signing in NYC for the new book! yay me !

Thankx so much.

XOXO ROZA


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